Contrasting Grandmas...

The tale of my two grandmas...

Grandma # 1

Setting the scene: I'm visiting her in the Isle of Man for her birthday. I've just eaten a full pot of greek yoghurt in the kitchen...

Grandma # 1: "Michael, you're going to get fat!"
Me: "I've just spent the last two hours walking 400ft up Bradda Head!" (small cliff)
Grandma # 1: "Well you need to, I noticed you've put a lot of weight on since I last saw you!"
Me: "I've been in the gym a lot this year, nan. I've been working out a lot."
Grandma # 1: "Yes, well you need to keep going! *laughs*"
Me: "It's muscle nan, it's not fat. I'm probably in the best shape I've ever been in... well, ever..."
Grandma # 1: "Yes, well it's not healthy..."

Time passes I make a brew...

Grandma # 1: "Michael! You've not had a piece of my birthday cake yet!" minutes later.... "Do you want sausages for tea tonight?"

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Grandma # 2

Setting the scene: I'm sat on her couch this past Sunday thumbing through the local paper... Bear in mind she's 92.

Grandma #2: "Ohhh, you've put a lot of weight on, alllll these muscles, you must be hungry!"
Me: "Yeah, I am a bit peckish. I won't say no to a sandwich."
Grandma #2: "Do you want some chicken, potatoes and veg?"
Me: "Um, yes please."
Grandma #2: "Would you like a yogurt first?"
Me: "Er.. yeah, thanks"
Grandma #2: "Would you like an apple?"
Me: "Yes, thank you."
Grandma #2: "A pear?"
Me: "Yes, thanks."

Grandma #2: "Would you like some orange juice?"
Me: "Yes please, that'd be lovely."
Grandma #2: "Good, do you want some brandy in it?"
Me: "Ye... wait... what?"

 

Contrasting Grandmas...

Haha I've got two contrasting grandmas... One is happy to be old, she makes pies and turnovers and is a proper nan... The other one has had two facelifts and countless other surgery, is 73 and has a 45 year old boyfriend who thinks she's 50 something

 

Contrasting Grandmas...

I have one nan who is probably one of the nicest people to ever grace this earth and another who is a right cnut

 

Contrasting Grandmas...

I've got two contrasting grandmas, ones dead, the others alive!

 

Contrasting Grandmas...

I wanted to like that then I had a ponder... lol

 

Contrasting Grandmas...

I love it when you get really game old ladies. See a lot of old girls in my job and it never fails to amaze me how some of them can still be so dirty.

Disclaimer - I don't sleep with old women.

 

Contrasting Grandmas...

Lmao I thought that myself after I posted it lol fill your boots!

 

Contrasting Grandmas...

C.Hill - Lmao mine are like that too haha.

I just got my nan a tank driving experience for her 70th birthday

 

Contrasting Grandmas...

Come on you studmuffin don't be modest.

 

Contrasting Grandmas...

I'm not ashamed to say the vast majority of female attention I get comes from over 65s. And do you know what, it still makes me feel sexy.