Relationship advice (no pics) (SRS)

OK, so I'm posting this in female misc because I feel females will give better advice for this situation.

My angus is prepared to be negged for no pics.

Anyways, I separated from this girl that was my "first love"... it wasn't the perfect relationship but we honestly grew up together so we delt with the good and the bad as they came. I was extremely unfaithful to her when we first started going out, but she finally had enough after I had sex with two of her "best friends" at a party that she was at. (this was when I was young and stupid) anyways This really gave me a reality check and It took awhile for me to get over it. Anyways, I ended up joining the military and after 4 years away from home and her being in college I felt we grew apart so i broke it off. She was extremely attached and me being under stresses of deployment and daily military life I did not want to add to this stress, she was uncompliant but I ended up just not talking to her for months. anyways i finally came home and i felt bad, I thought about her everyday but I knew I couldn't deal with the "dear johnny" letter. But anyways I came home for good and saw her and we decided that we should maintain a friendship. We knew that during that past year or so that we hooked up with other people but as we started seeing each other every day again old feelings started becoming stronger. Although I knew she was probably sleeping with other people at this time. anyways, after pretty much ditching me for the past week, she ends up going to a party, She has told me she hooked up with someone within the group of guys that were at this party a while ago when we first broke up. I am not the controlling type, and we aren't in a "relationship" and I really dont see a point in making a big deal of these kinds of things, anyways yesterday she was at work and she was supposed to come to my house afterwards, she texted me and asked if instead of going over to my house if I wanted to meet her at a bar after she worked. During my time in the military I started having problems with big groups of people often getting anxiety attacks being in crowds, and will never drink and not have "fun". I am usually the guy that is in the corner. so because of this I very rarely go out unless it is a good friends birthday or it is a gathering amongst people that i have known for many many years. So i dont know if she did this because she knew i would say no. Anyways she ends up saying that if i didnt want to go out that she would call me after work to go over to her house. My friend calls me to go over to his house to hang out and have dinner. Because they live close, I decided that i would just go over to his house and stop by her house after i was done. Anyways she never texts me back, and so I decide to just swing by. As I am driving to her house I notice that a car is parked in her drive way. So I just go back home and I text her a message saying that I was going to come over but i saw she had someone over, I told her that analyzing our relationship I am not mad. And i thanked her for being there for me when i needed her and that i wasn't going to contact her again for awhile because I dont want to be on this "emotional rollercoaster". It wasn't that hard this time around because she honestly let herself go after the past few years physically and mentally she is still kind of juvinile. Anyways she texted me back this morning saying that I was crazy and that the car was her neighbors and that he or she parks there to stay in the "shade", and after a week of ditching me she is trying her best to hang out with me right away. Anyways, I have continued to workout out consistantly, alot of her friends think I'm good looking and even told me them selves. All my friends say that the girls we know constantly talk about how they want to "jump my bones". But because of my issues I am socially awkward, have no self confidence, pretty much a forever aloner. Even when girls come up to me I freeze up which makes me seem very socially awkward. Anyways, She knows this. And I dont know if shes using this to her advantage. anyways what should i do?

cliffs
- was with EX gf for a long time (first love)
- Relationship was full of infedelity
- Had a bad brake up with her while I was in the military
- Came home and started rekindiling old flames
- recently she starts ditching me
- Socially awkward forever aloner
- Ex invites me out knowing I would deny
- As a gesture she invites me over to her house she says she would call/text
- I go to friends house who lives close to her
- She never texts/calls
- end up deciding ill just show up
- Someone elses car is parked in her drive way
- go home and send her text (non threatning, eye opening/ appreciative)
- tell her that i wouldnt bother her anymore
- Texts me this morning, tells me it was her neighbors car, he/she parks there because of "shade" when it gets hot out (never have seen this happen in the over 10 years i've known her)
- very insistent that i hang out with her today
- She let herself go the past few years
- I continue to workout, Above average looking guy, her friends like me
- what should i do?
- always could use a **** buddy but im afraid of getting attached to her again.

 

Relationship advice (no pics) (SRS)

This is really easy to answer.

Move on, find someone else, stop wasting time with her down a path to misery.

 

Relationship advice (no pics) (SRS)

Yea, this is the decision that I am pretty much leaning towards.... It is hard tho brah. Feels badman. Especially since we grew up together, she is my best friend but relationship wise she is a train wreck just like me and I'm truly in the very definition of the statement forever alone, I don't know when I am going to get laid next. my poverty reps to you for the sound of reason.

 

Relationship advice (no pics) (SRS)

Cliffs of the cliffs plz.

 

Relationship advice (no pics) (SRS)

cliffs of cliffs
- long term relationship
- forever aloner
- emotional attachment because of beta mental issues
- shady business going on last night
- advice

 

Relationship advice (no pics) (SRS)

Either talk to her and tell her exactly how you feel about her. See if you all can go out 1 on 1.

Option 2 is to just be friends and move on slowly.

Lastly read my sig

 

Relationship advice (no pics) (SRS)

Believe me I know what you are talking about. It easy to give advice when you aren't the one in your position with all of those feelings taking their toll and the years of history with this girl. People can give advice all day long and it sounds logical, but when it comes to their own lives it becomes more complicated because it is no longer an outside perspective.

However, you know what you should do. You just need to find a way to do it. In the end you will be much happier.

 

Relationship advice (no pics) (SRS)

I would work on myself first; I know sounds cliché, but really. If you don't take care of yourself and your issues, nobody will. And you will drag this "baggage" with you for the rest of your life, attracting wrong people. Keep working out, whatever makes you happy, explore new things and try to remove yourself from drama as much as possible. Being single is not a bad thing.

 

Relationship advice (no pics) (SRS)

This guy said heck with my miserable life and found happiness.

 

Relationship advice (no pics) (SRS)

Ion26 - Your sig is very inspiring and thanks for the advice but the situation is a little more complicated then that, but I appreciate your advice non the less

Wyomann - You are a wise man brah, wish there were more people with your mentality out in the world. Thanks for the advice you gave, and it will be very seriously considered.

lotusdeva- It is cliche but for a very good reason, you are very right. For me, it is alot harder said then done... but it is something that I try to do everyday. Thank you for your insight.